I had to do something, life was leaving Me behind...

When I decided to change my life I had many, many reasons. For starters, I was no longer happy in the place where I was. Getting older, I noticed nothing is the way it use to be. In my life things had already begin to change around me. My children have grown up and went on to have families of their own. I now have (6) grandchildren. Now that my children are raising their own families, I'm left with a bunch of silence. My daughter was the last to leave home in 2006. My son left a couple of years before to join the Navy in 2004. After my daughter left in 2006, the house got really quiet. My schedule changed from taking my daughter to school and activities, plus she worked as a senior in high school, to all a sudden nothing to do and no schedule to keep.

At first the silence wasn't bad.. I managed to catch up on my rest and housework. I now had time for more gardening and my business. Hubby and I was glad for the peace and quiet. I started a business. Life was good! Somewhere in the first few years after the kids left, I started to feel my life changing. The kids stopped calling and coming to visit as often as when they first left home. Then one by one they got married and started their families. And at first I got busy all over again. Helping with housewares and baby showers. I also was there, in the room, when (3) of my grandchildren we're being born. I've kept my grandchildren in the summer and some holidays. Then the slowdown began again. Things begin to change again. Everybody got busy. Too busy to include me in their plans. Nobody had time to visit... The grandkids are growing up now, no time for visits and summer break. Most of the grandkids are in school now or have activities and sports practice. Both of my children are living life at full speed with no time for me...

I'm moving slower! Now I have aches and pains I didn't have before. My business was starting to fall back and for the most part, I'd been struggling to keep it afloat. I felt struck. Then my close friend died! With all this happening in the last three years, I knew I had to do something. It looked like my life was changing whether I liked it or not. I had a decisions to make. Do I stay in the same place and be miserable or do I at least try for my life? Would I stick with the normal, even tho normal was not comfortable anymore? Do I have the guts to try and take control of my life? At my age, is it too late? Should I just settle? Do I have any dreams left? Am I defined by my younger self? Can my life still have meaning as I get older?

All these questions lingered in my mind for months. Meanwhile, I could still see my life changing around me! A little over a year ago, I finally made up my mind to go with the flow and do something about my changing life. I've decided that life isn't over and I Can change my life! I knew it wouldn't be easy, but it can be done. From that moment on my life begin to change differently. No longer was I dreading the stillness in my life, now I embrace it. Now I look forward to the changes, it let's me know I've still got work to do! And with that, I set out to make my life over. Being a mother and having the kids needing me all the time, being busy with the kids and their activities, use to define me as a person. It feels different to no longer be needed like that anymore. Now I realize that I'm more than a mother! Through all of this I've learned that I am much more than I thought I was. I've learned I still have a life to live. I've learned that I am a mother but that doesn't define me... I am so much more! Now I have time to discover more about myself. I have time to do things I never had time for before. So yeah, I'm changing my life, and it finally feels good!